I want to remember what these days feel like because last year, for most of the year, I understood what it meant to not have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life. After seven years of being at a community college and then UCLA, my life was planned out seven years ahead of me and it was comfortable for me to know that I had a plan. In my last semester at UCLA, I decided to go to law school. I thought I would be good at it because I am always reaching out and helping people with situations that require creative communication and the power of persuasion. I left UCLA in 2012 with College Honors and was selected from a pool of Law Fellows to work as a case assistant at a law firm in downtown Los Angeles. The experience removed the tint of fairy-tale hues from my glasses and gave me something to think about. I was concerned because it did not feel right. I felt like my talents were not being used, that I was being underestimated and underappreciated. My personality seemed to be too joyous, optimistic and compassionate for the firm. I was confused and often disappointed at the way in which I was treated, but I chalked it up to something I had to go through in order to learn a valuable lesson. That lesson was that when I was in my proper element, I would not feel that way.

My friends know me as someone who is generous and compassionate about the needs of others. I have had some friends marvel over how I will give someone my last five dollars when I do not know where my next meal is coming from. I will tell you this. In my world, kindness is key. Not only when it is convenient, but especially when it is not convenient. When I see that someone needs help, i am compelled to do what I can to help them. It feels natural, it feels comfortable and it feels very fulfilling. Almost unlike anything else that I do in my life with the exception of singing in the studio. I look for situations where I can be of service in everyday situations. Two such situations happened today and that is what I want to share. I knew that I had not been here to blog on my page, I was too sad and didn’t feel inspired to write. I never got rid of my blog though because I knew it was born for a reason and that when I was ready, I would return to write and encourage others. It waited for me and it was not in vain. Here is my story…

I was driving down Venice Boulevard on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Culver City when I spotted a young woman standing on the bus stop. Her nose was bandaged and she looked like she was in a hurry. I thought to myself that her injuries must be from abuse. I don’t know why I thought that instead of that she had a nose job. As I sat at the traffic light, a bus pulled up and she rushed to meet it, since the driver may not have seen her, but it passed her and pulled up behind me. In my rear view mirror, I could see that she had reached the door of the bus and was motioning for permission to be admitted. The bus driver ignored her and made a dismissive motion with his hand for her to get out of the street. When the light turned green I sat there, in hopes that he would see traffic was not moving and he could pick her up. He began to blow his horn at me so after a few more seconds, I reluctantly moved forward…slowly. Our eyes met as I glanced into my rear view mirror and I just shook my head in disappointment.

I knew in my heart that I had to help her get to her destination so I drove until I could safely turn around and then I went back to where I saw her. It seemed like traffic had slowed down to prevent me from my mission and I was afraid I would miss her. When I realized that I was getting anxious, I said to myself, “Calm down, you are just excited and if she is not there, it will be because a bus picked her up so either way it is a good thing.” Talking to myself helps me to relax when my emotions get fired up. I made my final U-turn and saw the #33 bus in the distance coming down Venice. As I drove up, I saw her talking to a mechanic at the shop behind her. I had already rolled down my window so I could talk to her. I waited a moment and she turned around and I smiled and said, “I can’t believe that bus driver did not pick you up. I was right in front of him and I saw what happened. There is a bus coming behind me, but if you want to let me give you a ride, I would be honored to do that.” She smiled and did not hesitate to thank me and ask me if I was sure. I told her I was sure; it was totally up to her. She accepted my invitation and got into my car. The first thing she said to me after thanking me profusely was that God was so good to her and that she was standing on the bus stop professing her love for Him after the bus had left her standing at the designated bus stop. She gave me directions and told me how grateful she was. Every other thought she expressed was about how wonderful God was and then she admitted to me that she had been battered by her boyfriend so badly that she had needed surgery. When I told her that I knew, she just looked at me and said, “You are an angel and your wings are so tightly tucked that I didn’t see them at first.” I smiled and asked myself how I even knew she had been battered.

We rode down Venice as she told me she had found a place that does reconstructive surgery on women who can’t afford it. She praised God for being chosen to receive the free service. The funny thing is that though I was driving with the flow of traffic and paying close attention, cars were beeping their horns at me. It was strange. I told her it was if they were trying to disturb the joy we had created with our conversation and praise. She agreed and told me she had thought the same thing. We both laughed and kept on talking. It wasn’t until I got to her destination that I asked what her name was. She smiled and told me it was Shani. I told her that she had a beautiful name and that she was a beautiful person. I told her she was a good person and I meant it. She asked if she could have my number so I gave it to her. She then asked if she could give me a hug and I gladly hugged her. As she got out of my car, I told her once again that she was a good person. She smiled and waved at me as I drove off smiling. I had a feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be. I felt appreciated and I felt grateful that I had helped someone. I felt blessed and I felt worthy. It was feeling that I carried on to my next experience at the underpass…