T.A.P. into the Possibilities

Believe that the possibility exists and then make extraordinary things happen.

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Feeding Mr. Grey

An overwhelming desire for some french fries dominated my thoughts and pushed its way up to the top of my to-do list. Luckily, I was not far from a McDonalds that I knew had extremely tasty french fries so I drove in. The anticipation of blowing on a long, perfectly shaped fry before I popped it into my mouth was on replay in my head.. I got my order and drove through the small lot looking for a place to devour my bag of goodies. Ah-ha, I spotted a place in the shade and drove toward it. As I gocloser I saw a shopping cart that I thought was blocking the space. the relief was short lived hen I saw that it wasn;t because then i noticed a man standing to the side of it. His image had been blocked by the parked car beside the open space. i reached into my bag and pulled out a french fry. it did not disappoint as my mouth watered at the taste of perfectly salted potato. I pressed the brake when I saw the homeless man. His cart was probably shiny and silver at one time, but now it had a dull gray tone to it which at certain spots yielded to burgundy spots of jagged rust. His looked like a gray ghost with clothes that had changed from white to gray as they carried the dirt of his struggles in their fabric. His hair was gray not only from dust, but from living a hard life of many years, yet his eyes still kept their hue as he looked at me and smiled. Aw, man, I can’t sit ib frint if him and eat.” I thought. “I have to move to another space so I can eat in peace.”

I drove about six feet when I gave myself a conscious slp in the heart. “What is your problem, Teresa. Are you really going to go to another part of this lot and eat after what you have just seen?!? I dared myself to continue one more inch. the shame was almost too much to bear and I hung my head as I looked at the bag and sighed. I put the car in reverse and drove over to the spot. I asked the guy if he was hungry. He slowly got up and walked over to my car. “Yes, I am,” he replied. “You know, I really love this McDonald’s french fries, but I want to give you this food,  I only ate one fry out of it.” He smiled at me and I gave him the bag and a soda. I then told him, “I am sorry that I almost pulled away. That was very selfish of me and I am ashamed that I did that.” What he said to me confirmed what I suspected, that compassion is a gift that can come from anyone. He said, “I knew you were going to come back, I could see it in your face and then when I saw your break lights come on, I knew you were just trying to work it out in your head.” That gave me a strange sense of relief like he had forgiven my hesitation and I promised him that I would not hesitate at the next opportunity to help someone. I drove back to the drive-thru and ordered again. On my way out of the drive-thru, I saw another man standing next to a worn down bicycle with clothes crumbled up on a make-shift rack which he had attached to the back of the bike. I looked up and said, “Really, God?!? I am not going to get to eat this bag of fries either? I guess I am going to circle the drive-thru all day.”  I laughed and drove up to the man who smiled at me as if he knew what was going to happen. I tried not to sound hesitant as I asked him, “Are you hungry?” He said he was so I gave him the food and drove back around to the drive thru for a third time. By now I had to convince the guy at the window that I was giving the food away and not eating it. He laughed and swiped my debit card for a third time. I was sure I would get to eat some fries this time. I slowly drove around the corner after I got my bag of food and to my relief, the coast was clear. It was my turn to eat now. I drove to a space under the shade and looked around one more time before I began to eat, still looking around occasionally. That night when I got home, I checked my bank account online only to find that I was overdrawn by $38. There had not been any money in my account when I purchased the three meals. Sometimes things just work out better than they were supposed to and I remain grateful for that.


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One Happy Meal

A few days ago, I was driving home. It was dark and I decided to go to McDonald to get a happy meal (I keep the toys for the kids’ baskets that I make at Christmas). As I drove up, there was a choice of two lanes to drive through. I squinted at the menu and in the first lane there was a woman huddled under the sign clutching her belongings close to her chest. I decided to go to the other ordering station, but while I sat there, I started to feel ashamed. What was wrong with me? I had intentionally avoided someone who was in need. I lost my appetite, but I went through the drive-thru and ordered a happy meal anyway. I circled back around to see if she was still there and she was gone. I shook my head and just sat there. How could I have been so selfish? I was disappointed in myself and then I stopped thinking about myself and did what I do best…find people. I looked over to my left and saw the shadow of a small woman walking slowly through the parking lot with her head held down like she was watching her feet. I secretly prayed this was her. I drove slowly up to her, rolled down my window and asked her if she was hungry. She turned and said she was so I gave her the food. She thanked me for the food and immediately went over and squatted beneath a nearby tree. She looked down, placed her belongings closely beside her and began eating slowly as she looked around in the darkness. You could barely see her squatting there in the shadow of the tree that kept the luminosity of the street light from giving her away. I learned a valuable lesson from that encounter. Sometimes, it does not matter if you hesitate to do something right as long as you do it.


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With the Right Heart

I had a very important meeting a few days ago and it went very well. On my way home, I stopped by my favorite chicken place to get some biscuits. Believe it or not, I don’t go for the chicken, but I love the biscuits. When I drove up to the window, I ordered my biscuits with an excitement that I could hardly obtain. Then, I stopped and had the feeling that I should order lunch. I didn’t really want to order from this place, but my stomach reminded me that I was indeed hungry so I ordered a shrimp lunch. When I got to the window, I asked the clerk what came with the meal and she said it came with a biscuit and fries. I didn’t really want the fries so I asked if I could substitute the fries with coleslaw. Her face told me that was going to be a problem so I smiled and said, “The fries are already done, huh? Ok, that’s alright.” She smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry, I will just give the coleslaw to you.” I thanked her and when she handed me the food, I said, “Have a blessed life!” and drove off as she stood at the window smiling.

I still had to get gas so I said lovingly to my car, “I am going to put some gas in you right now. Please don’t strand us.” I came to the next intersection with gas stations on three corners. I reluctantly chose the Shell station (nothing personal. Shell). When I drove up to my pump, I noticed a man asleep against the wall. He had a half bottle of orange juice next to him and crumbled trash bags surrounding him. I now understood why I had bought the food. I walked over to him and without waking him, I placed the food beside him and walked back to my car to continue pumping gas. I prayed to God to make his food invisible to everyone, but him. I did not want anyone to take it. As I pumped my gas, I smiled at the thought of him waking up to a hot meal and then I thought that I should wake him to make sure he knew he had food. I drove by and said, “Excuse me, sir.” He woke up and seemed a little disoriented. I smiled at him and said, “I bought some food for you.” I had to point to the food because he was still waking up. When he looked over to where I was pointing and saw the food, he smiled the most sincere smile and his face looked overjoyed. He immediately opened the box as I drove off around the back of the gas station. Then it hit me, I should give him the bottled water too…but my last two biscuits too?!? I was still hungry, but I drove back around and got out of my car and gave him the water and…yes, my last two precious biscuits (if you only knew…lol), He thanked God and so did I as I drove down La Brea smiling with my stomach growling.


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Motivation Knows No Strangers

Tonight, I met a young actress who was looking for a place to rent for a few months. She said she had been looking on Craig’s List, but had attracted a few questionable replies. I told her that Craig’s List had received some bad press and perhaps she should try other avenues as well. I suggested looking into papers near campuses because they often have vacancies for students who sometimes rent for a few months. I also suggested she ride around the neighborhoods that she wanted to live in because there could be opportunities that are not listed publicly. We both laughed when I suggested facebook, but then we realized that facebook was not a bad idea either.

As we drove down La Cienega Blvd., I noticed a white, plastic H&M bag sitting on the bench at the bus stop. People were driving by and walking by without even noticing the bag sitting conspicuously on the bench. I turned to her and said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was money in that bag?” She quickly looked over at the bag and then quickly looked back at me and said with excitement, “Should we check?!? Then her voice dropped and got serious, “If there is money in that bag, we are outta here!” We both laughed and the light changed so we continued down the street joking about paying off our debts, giving money to charity and traveling around the world.

Then, we started to talk about life and I told her that I was really happy with my life right now, but that it was not that way a few months ago. I told her that last year I felt like I no longer had a plan and that I was unsure what I wanted do. I shared with her how I was on track to go to law school, but had not done well on my LSAT. I admitted that my self-sabotage had left me feeling sad, diminished and sometimes I would just sit and cry. She was quiet for a moment and then she said, “I feel that way now.” I looked at her and told her that I had an idea how she felt and I said to her, “No matter how bad it feels right now, you are going to come out of this place in your life and when you do, you are going to be grateful that you survived, like I am right now. I told her that I know it seems like she does not know what she wants to do and that can make a person feel sad and confused, but I assured her that it was alright not to know every step to her future. She slowly shook her head in agreement as she looked out her window as if in deep thought. She continued to listen to me as I said, “We do the best we can in life and sometimes we don’t, but the most important thing is to keep on moving forward. You have to keep moving forward because that is the only way you can come out of it. You will look back on these challenges and know that they were necessary and you will be able to help someone else one day who finds themselves in this position. I paused and then said, “Your trials will be the foundation of your triumph.” She smiled at me and said, she was glad she finally met someone who really understood how she felt; it made her feel less alone.

I gave her my T.A.P. into the Possibilities card and told her that she had no reason to feel alone now because she could call me anytime and I would remind her how fortunate and extraordinary she is. When she got out of my car, she thanked me and told me that my words had really helped her. Before she closed the door, she said cheerfully, “Make sure you go back and get that bag of money we saw.” We both laughed and she walked to her house as I watched until she got inside, I didn’t get a chance to go back and see if our bag of money was still there. It didn’t matter; we both got what we needed. I drove down the street and asked God to look after her and to give her peace of mind and an unburdened heart. I couldn’t help the tears welling up in my eyes as I prayed, but I know it is going to be alright for her and for me.

When I got home, I had a pleasant surprise waiting, a message from her which read: “Hello Teresa…Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate everything you said and I hope you found a bag of money tonight and paid off all your debts! Have a beautiful evening.” Her message made me smile. You never know what taking the time to listen and encourage someone can do, but I am finding out.


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Compassion by Design

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Artwork near the bus stop on Venice.

I want to remember what these days feel like because last year, for most of the year, I understood what it meant to not have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life. After seven years of being at a community college and then UCLA, my life was planned out seven years ahead of me and it was comfortable for me to know that I had a plan. In my last semester at UCLA, I decided to go to law school. I thought I would be good at it because I am always reaching out and helping people with situations that require creative communication and the power of persuasion. I left UCLA in 2012 with College Honors and was selected from a pool of Law Fellows to work as a case assistant at a law firm in downtown Los Angeles. The experience removed the tint of fairy-tale hues from my glasses and gave me something to think about. I was concerned because it did not feel right. I felt like my talents were not being used, that I was being underestimated and underappreciated. My personality seemed to be too joyous, optimistic and compassionate for the firm. I was confused and often disappointed at the way in which I was treated, but I chalked it up to something I had to go through in order to learn a valuable lesson. That lesson was that when I was in my proper element, I would not feel that way.

My friends know me as someone who is generous and compassionate about the needs of others. I have had some friends marvel over how I will give someone my last five dollars when I do not know where my next meal is coming from. I will tell you this. In my world, kindness is key. Not only when it is convenient, but especially when it is not convenient. When I see that someone needs help, i am compelled to do what I can to help them. It feels natural, it feels comfortable and it feels very fulfilling. Almost unlike anything else that I do in my life with the exception of singing in the studio. I look for situations where I can be of service in everyday situations. Two such situations happened today and that is what I want to share. I knew that I had not been here to blog on my page, I was too sad and didn’t feel inspired to write. I never got rid of my blog though because I knew it was born for a reason and that when I was ready, I would return to write and encourage others. It waited for me and it was not in vain. Here is my story…

I was driving down Venice Boulevard on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Culver City when I spotted a young woman standing on the bus stop. Her nose was bandaged and she looked like she was in a hurry. I thought to myself that her injuries must be from abuse. I don’t know why I thought that instead of that she had a nose job. As I sat at the traffic light, a bus pulled up and she rushed to meet it, since the driver may not have seen her, but it passed her and pulled up behind me. In my rear view mirror, I could see that she had reached the door of the bus and was motioning for permission to be admitted. The bus driver ignored her and made a dismissive motion with his hand for her to get out of the street. When the light turned green I sat there, in hopes that he would see traffic was not moving and he could pick her up. He began to blow his horn at me so after a few more seconds, I reluctantly moved forward…slowly. Our eyes met as I glanced into my rear view mirror and I just shook my head in disappointment.

I knew in my heart that I had to help her get to her destination so I drove until I could safely turn around and then I went back to where I saw her. It seemed like traffic had slowed down to prevent me from my mission and I was afraid I would miss her. When I realized that I was getting anxious, I said to myself, “Calm down, you are just excited and if she is not there, it will be because a bus picked her up so either way it is a good thing.” Talking to myself helps me to relax when my emotions get fired up. I made my final U-turn and saw the #33 bus in the distance coming down Venice. As I drove up, I saw her talking to a mechanic at the shop behind her. I had already rolled down my window so I could talk to her. I waited a moment and she turned around and I smiled and said, “I can’t believe that bus driver did not pick you up. I was right in front of him and I saw what happened. There is a bus coming behind me, but if you want to let me give you a ride, I would be honored to do that.” She smiled and did not hesitate to thank me and ask me if I was sure. I told her I was sure; it was totally up to her. She accepted my invitation and got into my car. The first thing she said to me after thanking me profusely was that God was so good to her and that she was standing on the bus stop professing her love for Him after the bus had left her standing at the designated bus stop. She gave me directions and told me how grateful she was. Every other thought she expressed was about how wonderful God was and then she admitted to me that she had been battered by her boyfriend so badly that she had needed surgery. When I told her that I knew, she just looked at me and said, “You are an angel and your wings are so tightly tucked that I didn’t see them at first.” I smiled and asked myself how I even knew she had been battered.

We rode down Venice as she told me she had found a place that does reconstructive surgery on women who can’t afford it. She praised God for being chosen to receive the free service. The funny thing is that though I was driving with the flow of traffic and paying close attention, cars were beeping their horns at me. It was strange. I told her it was if they were trying to disturb the joy we had created with our conversation and praise. She agreed and told me she had thought the same thing. We both laughed and kept on talking. It wasn’t until I got to her destination that I asked what her name was. She smiled and told me it was Shani. I told her that she had a beautiful name and that she was a beautiful person. I told her she was a good person and I meant it. She asked if she could have my number so I gave it to her. She then asked if she could give me a hug and I gladly hugged her. As she got out of my car, I told her once again that she was a good person. She smiled and waved at me as I drove off smiling. I had a feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be. I felt appreciated and I felt grateful that I had helped someone. I felt blessed and I felt worthy. It was feeling that I carried on to my next experience at the underpass…