I picked up a family from Kingdom Hall. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I had a random thought, “I am so glad that I always answer the door when Jehovah’s Witnesses ring my doorbell really early in the morning.” I have to admit that I used to see them outside putting their visiting strategy together and I would hide inside my apartment so that I did not have to stand there, barely awake, and try to listen out of respect as they asked me questions. I finally began to think that it could not be easy to knock on so many closed doors so I decided to open my door when they rang my doorbell. The thought left my head as quickly as it had entered. Once I arrived, I watched as the young man struggled to put the car seat into the back seat of my car. I joked, “You should get a degree for figuring those things out. “ We both laughed as he added, “…or at least a certificate.” Once everyone was inside my car, I turned and I smiled at the little girl sitting in the back seat; she just stared at me, without the slightest hint of a smile. I kept smiling, turned around and started to drive. Her mother tried to explain that she needed a nap and was probably grumpy because it had been a long afternoon. All of a sudden, I heard a small voice from the back seat demand, “I want to hear some music!” Her mother hardly waited for the end of the young girl’s command before she said in a melodic tone that almost sounded like she was singing, “What did I say about how to ask for things nicely?” The little girl, as if she already knew she had used the wrong tone, quickly corrected herself and asked in a sweeter, softer tone, “I want to hear some music, please.” I reached for the radio and a slight panic smacked me as I realized that most of the songs on the radio are…well…shall we say…for grown-ups. I was truly under a great deal of self-imposed pressure at this moment. I chose a country station to which the little girl abruptly replied, “I don’t like that!” Her mother must have looked at her because she added in a low whisper, Thank you!” I then chose a jazz station and she quickly said with a tone that sounded like she had a pout on her face, “That’s scary!” We all chuckled softly as I turned to another station where the song’s intro was beautiful, but I knew it was getting ready to change into a “not suitable for children” song so I quickly changed it. The father said, “That sounded like a nice song!” to which I replied, “It starts out nice, but it does not stay that way” and I giggled under my breath. It became my personal mission to find some appropriate music for this adorable girl before we reached their destination. Finally, as we pulled up to their street, Whitney Houston’s voice came rushing out of my speakers like a melodic wind that filled the car “Oh, I wanna dance with somebody…” When I stopped, I turned around, crossed my fingers, and asked, “Do you like this song?” Without the slightest smile, she nodded her head up and down as she began to kick the back of the front seat to keep time with the music (yeah, she was kicking my brand new seats). I ignored her kicks because I was so ecstatic that I had found a song that she liked. Then I started to sing to her. That is when I saw the little corners of her mouth make a slight turn upward almost as if it was against her will. “A smile, I finally got a tiny smile” I thought as I kept singing. By this time, she was nodding her head and kicking her feet in time with the music. I felt like clapping…wait, I did clap as I kept singing to her. Her father gently lifted her out of the car seat, but she looked back at me the whole time. My mission was complete and I knew she would not soon forget that ride. Feeling overjoyed, I drove down the street rocking my head from side to side, bouncing in my seat and singing through a huge smile, “Oh, I wanna dance with somebody…with somebody who loves me….”
Tag Archives: Kindness
Life Captured
Life Captured
Trying to capture life
Like lightness of a feather
Looking up to find the sun
In any kind of weather
Feeling dreams as light as air
That drift by without traction
Knowing that it’s better to
Maintain a kind reaction
Free to stay inside a cage
Or free to live without it
Free to understand our worth
And never ever doubt it
Written by Carmen Portilla and Teresa A. Pitts
Going My Way
I had decided to go to the 6:00 a.m. service at Faithful Central Bible Church today, but when I woke up at 5:00 a.m., it was raining, cold and dark and I was still tired so I set my alarm clock for a later time so I could go to the 10:00 a.m. service. On my way to the church, I saw a guy running down La Brea Avenue with his hand in the air as if he was trying to hail a taxi. It was not a taxi, but the bus which moved away from him to the middle lane and kept on moving down the street. I felt that I should give him a ride and I was not worried about being late for church because of it. I turned around and pulled up on his side of the street. I asked him if he was trying to catch the bus and he said, “Yes.” I asked him if I could take him to his destination. He saw the Uber sticker in my window and said, “Are you Uber?” I told him that I was not working and could give him a ride without charging him. He smiled and got into my car. He asked me where I was going and I told him, “I am going to Faithful Central.” I then asked him where he was going and he replied, “The same place.” We both laughed and rode on down the street, talking and laughing. When we arrived, he pulled out $10 and before he could hand it to me, I said, “I can’t take that, just do something nice for someone else, that is how I do it.” He asked, “Is that what you want me to do?” and I said, “Yes, that is how I do it.” He said, “OK and I want you to take this money. That’s how I do it.” I chuckled and accepted his money. We were walking through the parking lot to the church when he stopped and said, “Oh no, I think I left my phone in your car and then he apologized profusely while we were walking back to the car. I kept telling him not to worry because I needed the exercise. We both laughed. He got his phone and we walked back and entered the church with the choir and congregation singing. As I went to my seat, I was grateful that I was in the right place at the right time. May that continue to happen. As for the $10, I am going to get ten single dollar bills and keep them in the door pocket so that when I drive pass people on the street who are asking for money, I don’t have to fumble around in my bag and miss the opportunity to give them their dollar.
One Happy Meal
A few days ago, I was driving home. It was dark and I decided to go to McDonald to get a happy meal (I keep the toys for the kids’ baskets that I make at Christmas). As I drove up, there was a choice of two lanes to drive through. I squinted at the menu and in the first lane there was a woman huddled under the sign clutching her belongings close to her chest. I decided to go to the other ordering station, but while I sat there, I started to feel ashamed. What was wrong with me? I had intentionally avoided someone who was in need. I lost my appetite, but I went through the drive-thru and ordered a happy meal anyway. I circled back around to see if she was still there and she was gone. I shook my head and just sat there. How could I have been so selfish? I was disappointed in myself and then I stopped thinking about myself and did what I do best…find people. I looked over to my left and saw the shadow of a small woman walking slowly through the parking lot with her head held down like she was watching her feet. I secretly prayed this was her. I drove slowly up to her, rolled down my window and asked her if she was hungry. She turned and said she was so I gave her the food. She thanked me for the food and immediately went over and squatted beneath a nearby tree. She looked down, placed her belongings closely beside her and began eating slowly as she looked around in the darkness. You could barely see her squatting there in the shadow of the tree that kept the luminosity of the street light from giving her away. I learned a valuable lesson from that encounter. Sometimes, it does not matter if you hesitate to do something right as long as you do it.
A Young Man’s Jacket
I went to Oki’s Dog to get some fries because that was all I could afford. While standing inside, I could see a young man outside putting on his jacket in the rain. The young lady behind the counter said, “That man is really nice!” I was curious so I said, “What did he do?” She then smiled and said, “He gave his jacket to the guy standing in the rain.” Just as I started to smile, the young man ordered food for the man to whom he had given his coat. I thought to myself, this is the kind of person I want in my life, someone who is compassionate and in touch with humanity. I walked around to the outside counter and as I got to where he was, he had walked away. I stood there silent and disappointed when suddenly he turned around and smiled at me. I said, “I wished you back to me.” He walked over and I said. “You did a beautiful thing just now and I would be honored to be your friend. Here is my card so we can keep in touch.” He told me that he saw that the man was cold and looked hungry so he gave him his jacket and bought him some food. The interesting thing is, the man to whom he had lent his jacket, protested the offer of food, but the young man insisted and bought him a special. I smiled and told him that I am just like him. Remember, it doesn’t take much to be a blessing to someone. When he sends me a friend request, that will be my blessing.
An Obedient Heart
I had decided to go to the 6:00 a.m. service at Faithful Central Bible Church today, but when I woke up at 5:00 a.m., it was raining, cold and dark and I was still tired so I set my alarm clock for a later time so I could go to the 10:00 a.m. service. On my way to the church, I saw a guy running down La Brea Avenue with his hand in the air as if he was trying to hail a taxi. It was not a taxi, but the bus which moved away from him to the middle lane and kept on moving down the street. I felt that I should give him a ride and I was not worried about being late for church because of it. I turned around and pulled up on his side of the street. I asked him if he was trying to catch the bus and he said, “Yes.” I asked him if I could take him to his destination. He saw the Uber sticker in my window and said, “Are you Uber?” I told him that I was not working and could give him a ride without charging him. He smiled and got into my car. He asked me where I was going and I told him, “I am going to Faithful Central.” I then asked him where he was going and he replied, “The same place.” We both laughed and rode on down the street, talking and laughing. When we arrived, he pulled out $10 and before he could hand it to me, I said, “I can’t take that, just do something nice for someone else, that is how I do it.” He asked, “Is that what you want me to do?” and I said, “Yes, that is how I do it.” He said, “OK and I want you to take this money. That’s how I do it.” I chuckled and accepted his money. We were walking through the parking lot to the church when he stopped and said, “Oh no, I think I left my phone in your car and then he apologized profusely while we were walking back to the car. I kept telling him not to worry because I needed the exercise. We both laughed. He got his phone and we walked back and entered the church with the choir and congregation singing. As I went to my seat, I was grateful that I was in the right place at the right time. May that continue to happen. As for the $10, I am going to get ten single dollar bills and keep them in the door pocket so that when I drive pass people on the street who are asking for money, I don’t have to fumble around in my bag and miss the opportunity to give them their dollar.
When You Understand Who You Are
When you know who you are and why you were put here on this earth, a source of inner peace takes over. You find happiness in the knowledge that you are here for a purpose and knowing what that purpose is makes you feel better about yourself and inspires you to believe in the phenomenal things you are capable of doing. You begin to believe in the impossible being elevated to the possible and you start to understand that a lot of what we can do lies in our ability to use our strengths and weaknesses as our paths to higher learning and valuable lessons. When we go through challenges, we learn that we should use our trials as a foundation for our triumphs and not let them become catalysts for our failure. When you truly understand who you are, there is power there and with personal power, you can do anything.
Motivation Knows No Strangers
Tonight, I met a young actress who was looking for a place to rent for a few months. She said she had been looking on Craig’s List, but had attracted a few questionable replies. I told her that Craig’s List had received some bad press and perhaps she should try other avenues as well. I suggested looking into papers near campuses because they often have vacancies for students who sometimes rent for a few months. I also suggested she ride around the neighborhoods that she wanted to live in because there could be opportunities that are not listed publicly. We both laughed when I suggested facebook, but then we realized that facebook was not a bad idea either.
As we drove down La Cienega Blvd., I noticed a white, plastic H&M bag sitting on the bench at the bus stop. People were driving by and walking by without even noticing the bag sitting conspicuously on the bench. I turned to her and said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was money in that bag?” She quickly looked over at the bag and then quickly looked back at me and said with excitement, “Should we check?!? Then her voice dropped and got serious, “If there is money in that bag, we are outta here!” We both laughed and the light changed so we continued down the street joking about paying off our debts, giving money to charity and traveling around the world.
Then, we started to talk about life and I told her that I was really happy with my life right now, but that it was not that way a few months ago. I told her that last year I felt like I no longer had a plan and that I was unsure what I wanted do. I shared with her how I was on track to go to law school, but had not done well on my LSAT. I admitted that my self-sabotage had left me feeling sad, diminished and sometimes I would just sit and cry. She was quiet for a moment and then she said, “I feel that way now.” I looked at her and told her that I had an idea how she felt and I said to her, “No matter how bad it feels right now, you are going to come out of this place in your life and when you do, you are going to be grateful that you survived, like I am right now. I told her that I know it seems like she does not know what she wants to do and that can make a person feel sad and confused, but I assured her that it was alright not to know every step to her future. She slowly shook her head in agreement as she looked out her window as if in deep thought. She continued to listen to me as I said, “We do the best we can in life and sometimes we don’t, but the most important thing is to keep on moving forward. You have to keep moving forward because that is the only way you can come out of it. You will look back on these challenges and know that they were necessary and you will be able to help someone else one day who finds themselves in this position. I paused and then said, “Your trials will be the foundation of your triumph.” She smiled at me and said, she was glad she finally met someone who really understood how she felt; it made her feel less alone.
I gave her my T.A.P. into the Possibilities card and told her that she had no reason to feel alone now because she could call me anytime and I would remind her how fortunate and extraordinary she is. When she got out of my car, she thanked me and told me that my words had really helped her. Before she closed the door, she said cheerfully, “Make sure you go back and get that bag of money we saw.” We both laughed and she walked to her house as I watched until she got inside, I didn’t get a chance to go back and see if our bag of money was still there. It didn’t matter; we both got what we needed. I drove down the street and asked God to look after her and to give her peace of mind and an unburdened heart. I couldn’t help the tears welling up in my eyes as I prayed, but I know it is going to be alright for her and for me.
When I got home, I had a pleasant surprise waiting, a message from her which read: “Hello Teresa…Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate everything you said and I hope you found a bag of money tonight and paid off all your debts! Have a beautiful evening.” Her message made me smile. You never know what taking the time to listen and encourage someone can do, but I am finding out.
Compassion by Design
Artwork near the bus stop on Venice.
I want to remember what these days feel like because last year, for most of the year, I understood what it meant to not have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life. After seven years of being at a community college and then UCLA, my life was planned out seven years ahead of me and it was comfortable for me to know that I had a plan. In my last semester at UCLA, I decided to go to law school. I thought I would be good at it because I am always reaching out and helping people with situations that require creative communication and the power of persuasion. I left UCLA in 2012 with College Honors and was selected from a pool of Law Fellows to work as a case assistant at a law firm in downtown Los Angeles. The experience removed the tint of fairy-tale hues from my glasses and gave me something to think about. I was concerned because it did not feel right. I felt like my talents were not being used, that I was being underestimated and underappreciated. My personality seemed to be too joyous, optimistic and compassionate for the firm. I was confused and often disappointed at the way in which I was treated, but I chalked it up to something I had to go through in order to learn a valuable lesson. That lesson was that when I was in my proper element, I would not feel that way.
My friends know me as someone who is generous and compassionate about the needs of others. I have had some friends marvel over how I will give someone my last five dollars when I do not know where my next meal is coming from. I will tell you this. In my world, kindness is key. Not only when it is convenient, but especially when it is not convenient. When I see that someone needs help, i am compelled to do what I can to help them. It feels natural, it feels comfortable and it feels very fulfilling. Almost unlike anything else that I do in my life with the exception of singing in the studio. I look for situations where I can be of service in everyday situations. Two such situations happened today and that is what I want to share. I knew that I had not been here to blog on my page, I was too sad and didn’t feel inspired to write. I never got rid of my blog though because I knew it was born for a reason and that when I was ready, I would return to write and encourage others. It waited for me and it was not in vain. Here is my story…
I was driving down Venice Boulevard on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Culver City when I spotted a young woman standing on the bus stop. Her nose was bandaged and she looked like she was in a hurry. I thought to myself that her injuries must be from abuse. I don’t know why I thought that instead of that she had a nose job. As I sat at the traffic light, a bus pulled up and she rushed to meet it, since the driver may not have seen her, but it passed her and pulled up behind me. In my rear view mirror, I could see that she had reached the door of the bus and was motioning for permission to be admitted. The bus driver ignored her and made a dismissive motion with his hand for her to get out of the street. When the light turned green I sat there, in hopes that he would see traffic was not moving and he could pick her up. He began to blow his horn at me so after a few more seconds, I reluctantly moved forward…slowly. Our eyes met as I glanced into my rear view mirror and I just shook my head in disappointment.
I knew in my heart that I had to help her get to her destination so I drove until I could safely turn around and then I went back to where I saw her. It seemed like traffic had slowed down to prevent me from my mission and I was afraid I would miss her. When I realized that I was getting anxious, I said to myself, “Calm down, you are just excited and if she is not there, it will be because a bus picked her up so either way it is a good thing.” Talking to myself helps me to relax when my emotions get fired up. I made my final U-turn and saw the #33 bus in the distance coming down Venice. As I drove up, I saw her talking to a mechanic at the shop behind her. I had already rolled down my window so I could talk to her. I waited a moment and she turned around and I smiled and said, “I can’t believe that bus driver did not pick you up. I was right in front of him and I saw what happened. There is a bus coming behind me, but if you want to let me give you a ride, I would be honored to do that.” She smiled and did not hesitate to thank me and ask me if I was sure. I told her I was sure; it was totally up to her. She accepted my invitation and got into my car. The first thing she said to me after thanking me profusely was that God was so good to her and that she was standing on the bus stop professing her love for Him after the bus had left her standing at the designated bus stop. She gave me directions and told me how grateful she was. Every other thought she expressed was about how wonderful God was and then she admitted to me that she had been battered by her boyfriend so badly that she had needed surgery. When I told her that I knew, she just looked at me and said, “You are an angel and your wings are so tightly tucked that I didn’t see them at first.” I smiled and asked myself how I even knew she had been battered.
We rode down Venice as she told me she had found a place that does reconstructive surgery on women who can’t afford it. She praised God for being chosen to receive the free service. The funny thing is that though I was driving with the flow of traffic and paying close attention, cars were beeping their horns at me. It was strange. I told her it was if they were trying to disturb the joy we had created with our conversation and praise. She agreed and told me she had thought the same thing. We both laughed and kept on talking. It wasn’t until I got to her destination that I asked what her name was. She smiled and told me it was Shani. I told her that she had a beautiful name and that she was a beautiful person. I told her she was a good person and I meant it. She asked if she could have my number so I gave it to her. She then asked if she could give me a hug and I gladly hugged her. As she got out of my car, I told her once again that she was a good person. She smiled and waved at me as I drove off smiling. I had a feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be. I felt appreciated and I felt grateful that I had helped someone. I felt blessed and I felt worthy. It was feeling that I carried on to my next experience at the underpass…
Just When I Doubted Myself…
The truth is, I have been putting on a brave face. I have been having small doubts about being able to manage the next round of my goals and then it happened… I was driving down Venice Blvd and I saw a man in a wheelchair trying to put a cover over the windshield of a motor home. I don’t have to remind you how high up that is. Anyway, there he was with one of those clutch things patiently putting the leather cover over the window. I looked at him in my rear view mirror as I passed him. Then I had this lingering feeling. Had I not just put in my Law Fellows personal statement that “when I see someone in need, I am compelled to help them”? Did I lie? I turned my car around and asked him if he needed help. He said “I am trying to put the cover on, I can do it.” I parked in an auto repair driveway and told the guy, that was looking at me like I was crazy, that I would not be long. I put the leather cover over the windshield and windows for the man in the wheelchair while we chatted. He said he could not believe I turned around. I was thinking to myself that I could not believe I hesitated. We laughed and he thanked me and I was on my way.
There are a few lessons here:
1. If he can put on a windshield cover from a wheel chair, I can surely master the LSAT and law school.
2. Anything you think you can do, you can.
3. I have to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses.
T.A.P. into the Possibilities 