T.A.P. into the Possibilities

Believe that the possibility exists and then make extraordinary things happen.


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Angels Drive Tow Trucks

Two nights ago, I found myself and my passenger stranded on the Long Beach Freeway. There was an accident earlier and all of the pieces from the accident had not been removed from the freeway. I could see the flares had burned down to low flames. I was watching and I still don’t know where the piece came from that obliterated my tire in less than three seconds.

Mountains are not flat and neither is life. We have our ups and we have our downs. We have our negative experiences and we have our positive experiences. I want to talk about the positive experiences that were created out of a daunting experience.

I am immensely grateful that my passenger was patient, calm, and understanding. I spent over an hour on the phone with the road assistance service and was underwhelmed. My faith was restored when a phenomenal human being named Brian Rosales of City Tow Service came to tow my car. He was very kind and went out of his way to help me. Instead of towing my car to the nearest Just Tires in Long Beach, which would’ve left me stranded there, he towed me all the way to Los Angeles. He parked my car at the Just Tires on Beverly Boulevard and gave me a ride home.

I may not have shown it, but I was extremely overwhelmed and have been for a few days. I have never, in the 42 years that I’ve lived in Los Angeles, been stranded on the freeway, but I have called 911 every time I saw a disabled vehicle. They should know my number by now… Lol.

As we rode from Long Beach to Los Angeles, Brian and I had a deep conversation. I shared my experiences with him, and he felt comfortable enough to share his experiences with me. We have a lot in common, including the passing away of immediate family members. I felt a sense of calm with Brian and I was so grateful that he came to my rescue. He definitely restored my faith in the kindness of the human spirit. Brian has been through tremendous hardships, but he has developed into a empathetic and caring human being. It was nice to be on the receiving end of his compassion.

Thank you, Brian!! You were a lifesaver that night, more than you will ever know. I appreciate your kindness and your willingness to help me. I am grateful that you felt comfortable enough with me to share your story. I want you to know that you are an outstanding person, father, son, brother and friend. It is an honor to know you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


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Going My Way

I had decided to go to the 6:00 a.m. service at Faithful Central Bible Church today, but when I woke up at 5:00 a.m., it was raining, cold and dark and I was still tired so I set my alarm clock for a later time so I could go to the 10:00 a.m. service. On my way to the church, I saw a guy running down La Brea Avenue with his hand in the air as if he was trying to hail a taxi. It was not a taxi, but the bus which moved away from him to the middle lane and kept on moving down the street. I felt that I should give him a ride and I was not worried about being late for church because of it. I turned around and pulled up on his side of the street. I asked him if he was trying to catch the bus and he said, “Yes.” I asked him if I could take him to his destination. He saw the Uber sticker in my window and said, “Are you Uber?” I told him that I was not working and could give him a ride without charging him. He smiled and got into my car. He asked me where I was going and I told him, “I am going to Faithful Central.” I then asked him where he was going and he replied, “The same place.” We both laughed and rode on down the street, talking and laughing. When we arrived, he pulled out $10 and before he could hand it to me, I said, “I can’t take that, just do something nice for someone else, that is how I do it.” He asked, “Is that what you want me to do?” and I said, “Yes, that is how I do it.” He said, “OK and I want you to take this money. That’s how I do it.” I chuckled and accepted his money. We were walking through the parking lot to the church when he stopped and said, “Oh no, I think I left my phone in your car and then he apologized profusely while we were walking back to the car. I kept telling him not to worry because I needed the exercise. We both laughed. He got his phone and we walked back and entered the church with the choir and congregation singing. As I went to my seat, I was grateful that I was in the right place at the right time. May that continue to happen. As for the $10, I am going to get ten single dollar bills and keep them in the door pocket so that when I drive pass people on the street who are asking for money, I don’t have to fumble around in my bag and miss the opportunity to give them their dollar.


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Shaken But Not Broken

She hardly looked at me as she jumped into my car, slammed the door and said sharply, Go straight!” It took her one breath to tell me that as she kept talking on her phone. When I looked into the rear view mirror at her face, I instantly felt a sense of sadness. She was a beautiful girl, probably in her first year at UCLA. She had on brightly colored shorts and a summertime top with wavy blonde hair tossed carelessly over her shoulders. The weather was warm with a cool breeze and the campus was alive with people hurrying to get to their destinations.

I did not listen to her conversation, but the person on the other end of her conversation could not have been talking much as she rattled off a series of fast sentences drenched in a restrained panic. She paused long enough to bark another order, “Turn left here!” I continued to drive and I felt sorry for this young stranger. I wanted to tell her that it was going to be alright. I kept silent. The desire to tell her grew stronger and I dismissed it because she was on the phone talking, non-stop. When she released the call, I looked in the mirror at her face which looked like she had received the worst news. Her blue eyes probably sparkled when she smiled, but at this moment, they were sad…worried, and she looked out the window not seeing all the beauty that the day was dangling in front of her. Her voice softened as she said, “I am sorry, take a right here, please.” She must have suddenly become aware of the tone she was using to speak to me.

At the stop sign, I called her by name, “Amanda…” She did not hear me, too deep in the thoughts that had blinded her to her actions. She was on emotional auto-pilot. Again, I softly called her name, “Amanda…” When she looked at me, I looked her straight in her eyes and said, “It is going to be alright.” Our glance was constant as if, over her first response to doubt me, she was trying to see if I was telling the truth. I was not prepared for what happened next because her eyes instantly welled up with tears that rolled down her cheeks like they had been waiting for permission to fall. I clumsily grabbed a box of Kleenex from under my center dash and handed the box to her. She pulled several tissues out of the box and lowered her face into the soft pillow she had created in her hands. As soon as she dried her face, more tears fell and she told me that all of her classes had been dropped and she was devastated. It was her first year at UCLA and now she had to maneuver through life’s obstacles without the immediate cloak of directional protection from her mom and dad who usually stepped in to smooth things out for her.

She was going to the class to plead with the instructor to add her into the class. I told her that it was all going to work out for her, but that she had to believe that. I told her she was given this obstacle to make her stronger, even if it seemed unfair. “You will understand this challenge later, but for now. Go to the class and calmly talk to the professor. I graduated from here in 2012 and I can tell you that instructors add you when they say they are not adding anymore students and they make a way for you when you are sure they will not, but you have to ask them. If you have the time, splash some cold water on your face before you go to class. You are going to be fine, Amanda. Try not to worry too much.” She smiled at me and it was like the sun pushed past stormy clouds to change the look of the day. Her face changed, “Thank you so much, Teresa, you can just let me out at the corner,” she said in a tone that suggested she thought she had taken too much of my time. I smiled and took her right up to the building’s entrance. She thanked me again through a vulnerable smile as she hopped out of my car and ran up the stairs. I hope she remembers what I told her. She is going to be alright.


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One Happy Meal

A few days ago, I was driving home. It was dark and I decided to go to McDonald to get a happy meal (I keep the toys for the kids’ baskets that I make at Christmas). As I drove up, there was a choice of two lanes to drive through. I squinted at the menu and in the first lane there was a woman huddled under the sign clutching her belongings close to her chest. I decided to go to the other ordering station, but while I sat there, I started to feel ashamed. What was wrong with me? I had intentionally avoided someone who was in need. I lost my appetite, but I went through the drive-thru and ordered a happy meal anyway. I circled back around to see if she was still there and she was gone. I shook my head and just sat there. How could I have been so selfish? I was disappointed in myself and then I stopped thinking about myself and did what I do best…find people. I looked over to my left and saw the shadow of a small woman walking slowly through the parking lot with her head held down like she was watching her feet. I secretly prayed this was her. I drove slowly up to her, rolled down my window and asked her if she was hungry. She turned and said she was so I gave her the food. She thanked me for the food and immediately went over and squatted beneath a nearby tree. She looked down, placed her belongings closely beside her and began eating slowly as she looked around in the darkness. You could barely see her squatting there in the shadow of the tree that kept the luminosity of the street light from giving her away. I learned a valuable lesson from that encounter. Sometimes, it does not matter if you hesitate to do something right as long as you do it.


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Motivation Knows No Strangers

Tonight, I met a young actress who was looking for a place to rent for a few months. She said she had been looking on Craig’s List, but had attracted a few questionable replies. I told her that Craig’s List had received some bad press and perhaps she should try other avenues as well. I suggested looking into papers near campuses because they often have vacancies for students who sometimes rent for a few months. I also suggested she ride around the neighborhoods that she wanted to live in because there could be opportunities that are not listed publicly. We both laughed when I suggested facebook, but then we realized that facebook was not a bad idea either.

As we drove down La Cienega Blvd., I noticed a white, plastic H&M bag sitting on the bench at the bus stop. People were driving by and walking by without even noticing the bag sitting conspicuously on the bench. I turned to her and said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was money in that bag?” She quickly looked over at the bag and then quickly looked back at me and said with excitement, “Should we check?!? Then her voice dropped and got serious, “If there is money in that bag, we are outta here!” We both laughed and the light changed so we continued down the street joking about paying off our debts, giving money to charity and traveling around the world.

Then, we started to talk about life and I told her that I was really happy with my life right now, but that it was not that way a few months ago. I told her that last year I felt like I no longer had a plan and that I was unsure what I wanted do. I shared with her how I was on track to go to law school, but had not done well on my LSAT. I admitted that my self-sabotage had left me feeling sad, diminished and sometimes I would just sit and cry. She was quiet for a moment and then she said, “I feel that way now.” I looked at her and told her that I had an idea how she felt and I said to her, “No matter how bad it feels right now, you are going to come out of this place in your life and when you do, you are going to be grateful that you survived, like I am right now. I told her that I know it seems like she does not know what she wants to do and that can make a person feel sad and confused, but I assured her that it was alright not to know every step to her future. She slowly shook her head in agreement as she looked out her window as if in deep thought. She continued to listen to me as I said, “We do the best we can in life and sometimes we don’t, but the most important thing is to keep on moving forward. You have to keep moving forward because that is the only way you can come out of it. You will look back on these challenges and know that they were necessary and you will be able to help someone else one day who finds themselves in this position. I paused and then said, “Your trials will be the foundation of your triumph.” She smiled at me and said, she was glad she finally met someone who really understood how she felt; it made her feel less alone.

I gave her my T.A.P. into the Possibilities card and told her that she had no reason to feel alone now because she could call me anytime and I would remind her how fortunate and extraordinary she is. When she got out of my car, she thanked me and told me that my words had really helped her. Before she closed the door, she said cheerfully, “Make sure you go back and get that bag of money we saw.” We both laughed and she walked to her house as I watched until she got inside, I didn’t get a chance to go back and see if our bag of money was still there. It didn’t matter; we both got what we needed. I drove down the street and asked God to look after her and to give her peace of mind and an unburdened heart. I couldn’t help the tears welling up in my eyes as I prayed, but I know it is going to be alright for her and for me.

When I got home, I had a pleasant surprise waiting, a message from her which read: “Hello Teresa…Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate everything you said and I hope you found a bag of money tonight and paid off all your debts! Have a beautiful evening.” Her message made me smile. You never know what taking the time to listen and encourage someone can do, but I am finding out.


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Compassion by Design

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Artwork near the bus stop on Venice.

I want to remember what these days feel like because last year, for most of the year, I understood what it meant to not have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life. After seven years of being at a community college and then UCLA, my life was planned out seven years ahead of me and it was comfortable for me to know that I had a plan. In my last semester at UCLA, I decided to go to law school. I thought I would be good at it because I am always reaching out and helping people with situations that require creative communication and the power of persuasion. I left UCLA in 2012 with College Honors and was selected from a pool of Law Fellows to work as a case assistant at a law firm in downtown Los Angeles. The experience removed the tint of fairy-tale hues from my glasses and gave me something to think about. I was concerned because it did not feel right. I felt like my talents were not being used, that I was being underestimated and underappreciated. My personality seemed to be too joyous, optimistic and compassionate for the firm. I was confused and often disappointed at the way in which I was treated, but I chalked it up to something I had to go through in order to learn a valuable lesson. That lesson was that when I was in my proper element, I would not feel that way.

My friends know me as someone who is generous and compassionate about the needs of others. I have had some friends marvel over how I will give someone my last five dollars when I do not know where my next meal is coming from. I will tell you this. In my world, kindness is key. Not only when it is convenient, but especially when it is not convenient. When I see that someone needs help, i am compelled to do what I can to help them. It feels natural, it feels comfortable and it feels very fulfilling. Almost unlike anything else that I do in my life with the exception of singing in the studio. I look for situations where I can be of service in everyday situations. Two such situations happened today and that is what I want to share. I knew that I had not been here to blog on my page, I was too sad and didn’t feel inspired to write. I never got rid of my blog though because I knew it was born for a reason and that when I was ready, I would return to write and encourage others. It waited for me and it was not in vain. Here is my story…

I was driving down Venice Boulevard on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Culver City when I spotted a young woman standing on the bus stop. Her nose was bandaged and she looked like she was in a hurry. I thought to myself that her injuries must be from abuse. I don’t know why I thought that instead of that she had a nose job. As I sat at the traffic light, a bus pulled up and she rushed to meet it, since the driver may not have seen her, but it passed her and pulled up behind me. In my rear view mirror, I could see that she had reached the door of the bus and was motioning for permission to be admitted. The bus driver ignored her and made a dismissive motion with his hand for her to get out of the street. When the light turned green I sat there, in hopes that he would see traffic was not moving and he could pick her up. He began to blow his horn at me so after a few more seconds, I reluctantly moved forward…slowly. Our eyes met as I glanced into my rear view mirror and I just shook my head in disappointment.

I knew in my heart that I had to help her get to her destination so I drove until I could safely turn around and then I went back to where I saw her. It seemed like traffic had slowed down to prevent me from my mission and I was afraid I would miss her. When I realized that I was getting anxious, I said to myself, “Calm down, you are just excited and if she is not there, it will be because a bus picked her up so either way it is a good thing.” Talking to myself helps me to relax when my emotions get fired up. I made my final U-turn and saw the #33 bus in the distance coming down Venice. As I drove up, I saw her talking to a mechanic at the shop behind her. I had already rolled down my window so I could talk to her. I waited a moment and she turned around and I smiled and said, “I can’t believe that bus driver did not pick you up. I was right in front of him and I saw what happened. There is a bus coming behind me, but if you want to let me give you a ride, I would be honored to do that.” She smiled and did not hesitate to thank me and ask me if I was sure. I told her I was sure; it was totally up to her. She accepted my invitation and got into my car. The first thing she said to me after thanking me profusely was that God was so good to her and that she was standing on the bus stop professing her love for Him after the bus had left her standing at the designated bus stop. She gave me directions and told me how grateful she was. Every other thought she expressed was about how wonderful God was and then she admitted to me that she had been battered by her boyfriend so badly that she had needed surgery. When I told her that I knew, she just looked at me and said, “You are an angel and your wings are so tightly tucked that I didn’t see them at first.” I smiled and asked myself how I even knew she had been battered.

We rode down Venice as she told me she had found a place that does reconstructive surgery on women who can’t afford it. She praised God for being chosen to receive the free service. The funny thing is that though I was driving with the flow of traffic and paying close attention, cars were beeping their horns at me. It was strange. I told her it was if they were trying to disturb the joy we had created with our conversation and praise. She agreed and told me she had thought the same thing. We both laughed and kept on talking. It wasn’t until I got to her destination that I asked what her name was. She smiled and told me it was Shani. I told her that she had a beautiful name and that she was a beautiful person. I told her she was a good person and I meant it. She asked if she could have my number so I gave it to her. She then asked if she could give me a hug and I gladly hugged her. As she got out of my car, I told her once again that she was a good person. She smiled and waved at me as I drove off smiling. I had a feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be. I felt appreciated and I felt grateful that I had helped someone. I felt blessed and I felt worthy. It was feeling that I carried on to my next experience at the underpass…


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To Remain Undaunted

I thought when I arrived at this point in my life, things would be different for me. The truth is, it is different, but not in the ways that I had imagined. You see, I just graduated from college at the age of 52. I had started thinking about my life in 2005 and realized that time was really passing fast. I decided that if time was going to go by so quickly that I should have something positive to show for it. So, I quit my job of 15 years and decided to take advantage of upward mobility at new job and go back to school after 26 years. I didn’t give it a great deal of thought because I would have talked myself out of it, but it seemed like a good idea so I went with it.

I found myself sitting in a classroom at Santa Monica college, exhausted from working 40+hours a week and saying to myself, “What in the hell were you thinking?” I was snapped out of my growing self-pity by the sound of the Professor’s voice and then I remembered what I had been thinking. I had been thinking that I wanted to have something to show for my life and that I wanted to earn my A.A. and then transfer to UCLA for my B.A. I was thinking that my brother had done everything right in his life; participating in sports, getting good grades and going to two prestigious colleges only to die of colon cancer at the age of 24 while he was studying law at Boston College. His friends would roll him to class in a wheelchair and he would struggle against daunting odds to continue his education. How could I feel exhausted? I was being a big baby, that was what I was thinking. Did I think it was going to be easy? Well, I hadn’t really thought about the easy or the hard of it, I just jumped into the challenge. Sometimes that is good strategy and I was hoping this would be one of those times.

I studied hard in school and I struggled when it felt like I was more sad than happy. It was during those times that I had to try three times harder just to maintain my grades. When I was feeling down, I hung on for that little piece of me that was assuring me that I could do it and that I was going to feel better. The little voice was shouting at me, but all I could hear was a whisper, but I kept on listening anyway. As long as I could hear even a whisper of encouragement, I could keep on going.

Now, after seven years on the best academic journey of my life, I am starting a new journey…law school. I am excited and a little scared, but I know that pushing forward is the only option I have unless I give up and THAT is not an option. I realize that I am an nontraditional student and I am accomplishing things using a different timeline than most, but that is what makes everything so special.

I am a big believer in paying it forward so as I move along, I help others like the time I heard a young guy on campus talking to his friend. He didn’t know if he was doing the right thing, but I overheard what he was doing in his life and the confusion in his voice and knew he just needed some encouragement. When I finished eating, I went over to his table and said, “Excuse me, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard what you were saying and I just wanted to tell you two things: I am proud of you and keep going because you are on the right path.” He smiled at me and said, “Thanks.” I could see in his face that he was grateful for the validation. As I walked away, I heard his friend ask him, “Do you know her?” to which he answered “No.” His friend then said, “That’s pretty cool, though.” And he said “Yea, huh.”

Just think how great it would be if we all took the chance to do something like that for others and even for ourselves. When I need encouragement, it comes to me unexpectedly from places I least expect it and I am always grateful. Take for instance, this blog. It is helping me too express my ideas and give me a sense of peace at the same time. I can’t ask for more than that, but I will.


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Just When I Doubted Myself…

The truth is, I have been putting on a brave face. I have been having small doubts about being able to manage the next round of my goals and then it happened… I was driving down Venice Blvd and I saw a man in a wheelchair trying to put a cover over the windshield of a motor home. I don’t have to remind you how high up that is. Anyway, there he was with one of those clutch things patiently putting the leather cover over the window. I looked at him in my rear view mirror as I passed him. Then I had this lingering feeling. Had I not just put in my Law Fellows personal statement that “when I see someone in need, I am compelled to help them”? Did I lie? I turned my car around and asked him if he needed help. He said “I am trying to put the cover on, I can do it.” I parked in an auto repair driveway and told the guy, that was looking at me like I was crazy, that I would not be long. I put the leather cover over the windshield and windows for the man in the wheelchair while we chatted. He said he could not believe I turned around. I was thinking to myself that I could not believe I hesitated. We laughed and he thanked me and I was on my way.

There are a few lessons here:

1. If he can put on a windshield cover from a wheel chair, I can surely master the LSAT and law school.

2. Anything you think you can do, you can.

3. I have to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses.